Good evening everyone.  
It's time for another rousing round of "Ask Duke".  
Today's question comes from "Lonely in Parris Island".  
 
Lonely in Parris Island writes, 
 
Dear Duke,
No matter what I try, I can't seem to get the ladies to notice me.  
I've tried shaving my head, growing a sweet mustache, and even going shirtless but nothing seems to work.  Do you have any suggestions on what I can do to turn my luck around?
 
Dear Lonely,
I would suggest using a musky scent. I hear the ladies really love that. Take it from me, a strong scent will go a long way.  Just ask my "lady friends", like Scarlett, Cover Girl, and Lady Jaye. Wait...Scarlett's with who?  Is Mainframe even a real Joe?  I'm pretty sure he's just the IT guy...
 
Well, thats all for this edition of "Ask Duke".  
Until next time, I'm Duke (and awesome!).

The FIghtin' 788th would like to welcome two new members today
Stephen from Oklahoma and Jansin from Texas both completed the
rigorous selection process and have been deployed with their units.
We look forward to many future operations with them.

Welcome to the Fightin' 788th gentlemen, where yesterday was the
only easy day. - Duke